Guilty Feelings

It's week 3 of school and I am already getting guilty feelings.

I wrote an e-mail to my mom just now. Lately, she's been calling me at the wrong moments. It's either when I'm doing something with friends, roommates, or going to class. One time, she called me and I was in the commons with my roommate and her boyfriend. She made a funny comment and I burst out laughing and couldn't stop. I felt bad afterward, because my mom sounded annoyed. She wanted to talk to me, but I was too engaged in my friends to pay attention. It reminds me of laughing into the microphone when I was bearing my testimony as a young girl.

Also, I've been selfish. What can I say?? It took me almost 19 years to figure this out!! I've been in the real world (or as close as I can get in Logan, UT). I like things, so I do whatever it takes to get it. I've learned the responsibility of money and holding down a job in high school, but I still need to learn some things in college. I'm poor, hungry, and need clean clothes!!

I'm technically expensive. I'm not bad though. I don't spend gabs and gabs of money on clothes or makeup or anything girly like that. I use it on food, texbooks, and activities with friends. I admitted to my mom via e-mail that I have 11 small cavities!!! They're small, but still need fillings. I feel really really really bad about that. I know that my mom will have to pay for it, hence the guilt. I'm trying so hard to keep my teeth healthy by drinking water, brushing with Sonicare, and flossing, I just hope that it's good enough.......

With roommates, I can understand my mother's patience over the years. I understand the importance of being positive and helping out more often.

College, it's a learning experience where all these guilty feelings are creeping upon me like spaghetti worms. I hate feeling guilty and knowing that I can be blamed for some things. I really want to change and convince people that I am a good person!! I hope that I can be stronger and swifter as I continue onward.
-Rebbie Becky